soufflesandbowties:

50% of my jokes are self deprecating and 50% are self congratulatory like i’ll say “wow its hot in here…. just like me” and 5 seconds later point at a trash can and say “me”

(via borinq)

285,477 notes

holysimba:

Hairdresser: do you like it?
Me: yes thank you

*goes home and cries*

(via succeeding)

519,504 notes
the-inspired-lesbian:

Love and Lesbians ♡
sniffling:

the only advice you’ll ever need

prettymuchdone:

“ok” and “okay” sound different in my head

(via distraction)

738,743 notes

slomps:

What did the cake say to the other cake?

I’m baked

(via asvprock)

7,768 notes